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A One-of-a-Kind Gift

To honor a person or event with an original poetic portrait is to give a rare and unforgettable gift that will be shared and enjoyed for generations. The two examples that follow are humorous in nature. The piece I write on your behalf will capture the character, essence and tone of what you wish to convey. ​

Please call me to discuss your poetic needs. With your input and my turn-of-phrase, we will conjure something  magical and fun together that will delight the recipient and the rest of your audience, as well!

Sample #1: The Creative Commision:

As a member of the board of the local Natural History museum, my client had the liberty to host her husband's 70th Birthday Bash in the Hall of Dinosaurs.. And because she could, she did. My task was to find a way to make the setting relevant to the occasion and to express this in verse as part of a tribute she would read to her husband at the dinner. She brought me a stack of books on dinosaurs in hopes that I could find in their pages some connection with her husband.  Here's what I wrote:

The Result:

Jerry and the Dinosaurs

I’ve strained my brain to help explain
how long-gone beasts that roamed the plain
and ruled the world as their domain
might in some special way pertain
to Jerry’s journey on this Earth
and the lasting impact of his birth.
 
For I felt the need to clarify
the rather puzzling reasons why
I acted on the sudden whim
to hail his birth in this museum.
 
So I searched in vain for metaphors
linking Jerry to the dinosaurs.
But the ways these giant beasts gave rise
to the flying birds who fill the skies
is not a fitting correlation
to Jerry’s growth and transformation
since it would have been a huge disaster
if he hadn’t changed a whole lot faster.
 
Next, I thought about how fossil fuels
still run the world – since it’s oil that rules –
because Jerry hopes to leave behind
some legacy for humankind
that might help youth to take their place
as winners in the human race.
 
Yet, though he’s slick, he’s rarely crude
and speaks few oily platitudes.
He has high-octane energy
but it’s still a poor analogy
since Jerry’s gifts will not transmute
into a form that might pollute.
 
As I continued to explore
why we’re dining next to dinosaurs
it suddenly became quite clear
why I chose to have our party here:
 
For Jerry’s three score years and ten –
but doesn’t he look young again?!
It’s enough to make my heartbeat quicken
next to these old bones -
he’s my spring chicken!

Sample #2: The Creative Challenge:

My client was a wealthy young man who was hosting a full-on Stag Party to celebrate the impending nuptials of his Greek friend George. He wanted the invitation that would delicately hint at just how raunchy the occasion would be.

The Result:

A Wedding of the Appetite, By George! 

George soon leaves our fraternity
for marriage and paternity.
 
So let’s all help him celebrate
his fast approaching wedding date
by making certain that he knows
what he’ll be missing when he goes.
 
We want it clearly understood
that giving up ones bachelorhood is not a little sacrifice
and doesn’t promise paradise.
 
Too many men turn into wrecks
confusing love with love of sex.
 
We tell a girl, ‘I love you much’
but really mean ‘I long to touch.’

Then, touching find erotic wines
intoxicating to our minds
produce the stupor that can bring
​a young man to the wedding ring.
 
If lust has blinded our good friend
then let’s stick by him to the end.
And on a night we’ll long remember
– it’s the 13th of September –
we’ll give George his final chance to savor sex
without romance.
 
On Saturday, in Newport Beach
@ 7pm we’re asking each
of George’s ushers to attend
​a bachelor bash (that may offend).

In hopes this harmless devilry,
– this Bacchanalian Revelry –
will give our Grecian reprobate
a chance to get his head on straight.
 
For this will be the acid test,
with pleasure flowing at its best.
A chance to see the naked truth. 
One final night to misspend youth.
 
And if this young man can withstand
temptations he’ll have close at hand –
then we can all rest satisfied
that George has found a worthy bride.